INSTITUTE OF LOVE

Stop Lecturing Others
Text Box: Have you ever run into fellow believers who almost immediately after telling them about your present situation, start lecturing or teaching you about what they think the Bible says about how or what you should do? In most occasions they tell you, or actually teach you in length, about things you already know, or situations you have already experienced. They will not ask you about your personal view or thoughts, or give you the chance to explain your opinion, since they are so busy lecturing you, and think they know how to give you all the right answers. They seem to have an unquenchable need to speak about their concern for you that many times goes along with all sorts of critical admonishments and warnings concerning your situation. All you can do is humbly nod and patiently listen to what is being said, since there is no room for you to tell them that you already know and understand what they are lecturing you about, and that you already have taken care of it. If you try hard enough to get a word in between, it usually ends up in some form of quarreling or uncomfortable confrontation. After it is all said and done, you are left behind with uneasiness and feeling that next time you would want to avoid a confrontation like this again. When you do try to avoid them the next time you meet, they do not understand why they are being rejected by you, and then they believe that it is because of their message, and that you may not have been receiving it. I have experienced countless situations like this, most of the time coming from good caring Christians. I started asking myself why this is so frequently happening to me. Is it that God is trying to tell me something again, and that I need to listen, as the Bible says in Proverbs 15:31-32 and in chapter 16:20 NLT? “If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise.” “If you reject criticism, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding.” “Those who listen to instruction will prosper; those who trust the LORD will be happy.” Or, could it be that my friendliness causes them to be comfortable in doing this? Then one day God gave me a revelation, as He asked me through the following scripture; “how are you really able to know what I (God) am doing in a person if you are not silent and able to listen to what the person is saying, and receive instructions from My Holy Spirit on how to proceed?” "Be silent, and know that I am God!” Psalm 46:10 NLT It is no wonder that the Bible says that; “Those who love to talk will experience the consequences, for the tongue can kill or nourish life.” Proverbs 18:21 NLT This is the way it is being taught in 2. Timothy 2:23-26 NLT among other passages in the Bible on how we are supposed to conduct ourselves towards others: “Again I say, don't get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. The Lord's servants must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone. They must be able to teach effectively and be patient with difficult people. They should gently teach those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people's hearts, and they will believe the truth. Then they will come to their senses and escape from the Devil's trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants. You think that everyone should agree with your perfect knowledge. While knowledge may make us feel important, it is love that really builds up the church. Anyone who claims to know all the answers doesn't really know very much. But the person who loves God is the one God knows and cares for.” 1. Corinthians 8:1-3 NLT “Love does not demand its own way.” 1. Corinthians 13:5 NLT In other words, we need to learn to be silent and listen to the Holy Spirit and consider that God might already have spoken to your brother or sister in Christ. “I have written these things to you because you need to be aware of those who want to lead you astray. But you have received the Holy Spirit, and he lives within you, so you don't need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit teaches you all things, and what he teaches is true — it is not a lie. So continue in what he has taught you, and continue to live in Christ.” 1. John 2:26-27 NLT That is why there is “A time to be quiet and a time to speak up.” Ecclesiastes 3:7 NLT And finally, let us summon it up in this one verse: ”The godly think before speaking” Proverbs 15:28 NLT Copyright©2008 Sophia & Edwin Christiaan Text Box: By Edwin Christiaan